ColdWater

John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of West Virginia.

After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, ‘Are these plates clean?’

His grandfather replied, ‘They’re as clean as cold water can get em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!’

For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, ‘Are you sure these plates are clean?’

Without looking up the old man said, ‘I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don’t you fret, I don’t want to hear another word about it!’

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather’s dog started to growl, and wouldn’t let him pass.

John yelled and said, ‘Grandfather, your dog won’t let me get to my

car’.

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching

on TV, the old man shouted,

‘COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN NOW, YAH

HEAR ME!!!’

Amish Lady Driver

I’m not going to cite you,” said the officer. “I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it
could be dangerous”.


“I thank thee,” replied the Amish lady. “I shall have my husband repair it as soon as I return home”.

“Also,” said the officer, “I noticed one of your reins to your horse is wrapped around his testicles. Some people might consider this cruelty to animals so you should have your husband check that too”. 

Again I thank thee. I shall have my husband check this when I get
home”.

True to her word, when the Amish lady got home, she told her husband about the broken reflector. He said he would put a new one on immediately.

Also,” said the Amish woman, “the policeman said there was something
wrong with the emergency brake.”

😆

The Lady and the Deer Crossing! :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

This is HILARIOUS!

A lady phones into a talk show about the poor locations for deer signs!

You WILL NOT REGRET listening to this! 🙂 🙂 🙂

Contributed by Barrie!

 

Donna the Deer Crossing Lady: The Rest of the Story!